The Blessing is in the Struggle and Growth Through Fasting
I do not know the complete history of Lent, nor do I claim to be an avid observer of the 40 days from Ash Wednesday leading up to Easter, but I must say that there is something to be said for the practice of fasting – whatever that thing is that you’re giving up. I have recently found myself to be in one of the biggest ruts of my life. Almost three years later after my big move to the Big Apple, I have found no Christian community that challenges me in significant ways; I am continuing to question the impact I’ve made on the learning of my students; I have been rejected from a couple of incredibly exciting opportunities that I believed I was not only qualified for but a perfect fit for. I am also growing less in my passion the serve the less fortunate, becoming less a channel of God’s love, and finding myself to be increasingly polluted by this world. James 1:27 says, “Spirituality that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” I don’t believe I am practicing this pure and faultless spirituality James is writing of. In fact I know I’m not.
Why? I try! I long to be a channel of God’s love and want nothing more than a cultivating Christian community. Why is it not happening?
Through daily prayer and reading scripture I have realized two things: I need to give something up to show my discipline and commitment to the Word of God, and that the greatest time of spiritual growth in my life came when I was inundating my brain with messages that God not only conveys through the Bible but also other children of God like Shane Claiborne, Erwin McManus, Lupe Fiasco, Banksy, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and others. And while not all of them claim to know Christ, they nonetheless spoke to me in significant ways that drew me to understanding the Bible in new ways. This is when I began to really live out my faith.
So, in pondering what exactly that ‘thing’ is that I’m supposed to give up, I must say I knew right away what God wanted me to take a break from: Television. For those of you who don’t know, I watch television the way hipsters enjoy being ironic: enthusiastically and abundantly. I always justified it because there is a wealth of remarkable TV programming out there: Jersey Shore. Cougar Town. The Real Housewives of D.C. (All kidding aside, check out Friday Night Lights and Breaking Bad if you haven’t…two high quality shows that not enough people watch).
What I’ve now come to realize, however, is that our mental environment can become easily polluted depending on the messages that are cluttering it. When I spend two hours a night watching depictions of secular living that tells me that what’s important is promiscuous sex, drinking, making and spending money, and glamour, I’m bound to ultimately adopt some (not ALL) of those practices…or at least become weakened to where I question my beliefs on the merits of being abnormal (even though we’re asked to be aliens of this world). This is how the world lives, even people who call themselves Christian, so it’s okay for be to “live” a little. Yet, here I am, the unhappiest I’ve been probably since middle school.
So, during my television fast, I’m going to be replacing the messages that are crowding my mental environment. This means that I will have a full two hours to not only spend reading God’s words but also hopefully allowing him to speak through mine. So, while I don’t promise to write more than a few blog posts, I will sporadically be updating this blog during the month of May, which I hope to be the month of Movement. To get started, let me share the messages I received last night:
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, wherever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything…Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”” James 1:2-4, 12
Or, as Lupe Fiasco puts it, “Don’t forget, the blessing is in the struggle.”
I began my fasting last night, and I think God rewarding me with these apt verses, don’t you?
for the wild,
andrew
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